rants of a bittersweet

its just july, yet i feel like its already september… or even completion week. sh*t, im dead tired.

basically, im already over the first 3 weeks of my senior life.  if i am to view this point in my life optimistically, the prior statement would mean that im slowly heading towards THE day and thus, be "tom cruise-ish happy" (you know, so happy you that you end up couch hopping. haha). but when i rather feel like a soul trapped in a body that’s so prematurely burnt out it can’t even lift a finger, i tend to think "ano?! july pa lang?! bakit pagod na ko…? ayawan nalang!!"

for one, there’s thesis proposal. by wednesday, my partner and I are supposed to pass this 1 to 2-page problem and objectives that our 199 classmates will critique on the following the day as we defend it. however, we research geeks know better than to say that producing this 1 to 2-page requirement is easy given that this part of the thesis is just about a question and some bullets. semesters of comm.res education under professors who taught us soooo well tells us that it’s not that. far from it. and to prove my point, i just want to say that aris and I already ended up with hundreds of pages of academic journals that we read in order to produce a one page problem and objectives based on stringently searched research gaps (by the way, the problem and objectives is still not yet produced, though we already have a clearer concept of what we want to undertake as undergrad thesis. tapos ilusyonada pa ko, gusto ko pag natapos na yung thesis ipapass siya sa Oxford to be included in their journal. pwede ding sa Sage publications. wooohoo!! ;o) )

and then, there’s still the customary paperssssss and readingssssss for my other classes that are not exactly easy. dagdagan mo pa ng extra-curriculars like org stuffs (but then again, i have chosen those to become a part of my system…).

hay… kelan ba na-imbento ang university education? at bakit kailangang ganito siya ka-complicated?!

i don’t have any problems with my phone - it works out just fine

i don’t have any ‘load problems’ - i have been bestowed with a line

i don’t subscribe to the unlimited fad - so i reply to people’s text messages regardless of their ‘religious preference’: globe, smart, or sun

i may not be in two places at the same time, but i have a lot of friends (who happen to be everywhere. in the right place. in the right time) who’s more than willing to share informations with me. in real time.

in short, i can say that i have no communication problems. i can reach out to anyone who happens to be involved with my concerns in life. however, there is this one pertinent communication tool that can make me feel helpless in a flash: a battery turned empty.

this afternoon, i came across a news that i immediately dismissed as a joke. she told me something unbelievable and asked me to call her and i was like, "yeah right. how could you have known?" but then, i was able to confirm it… and there’s nothing left for me to do but to be agitated. with that, i immediately pressed the ‘call’ button, forgot that my battery is in its last few uncharged moments, helplessly watched as the phone voluntarily turned off, and simply hated just what happened. why now?!?! WHY?!?! i need to be connected and be informed, fast! and worse, i am headed towards the opposite direction to which the ‘news’ is supposedly taking place. aargh!!! if i had only waited about two minutes before leaving, then i would have accepted the ‘news’ more pleasantly to the point of even changing my itinerary. aargh!!!

you see, the ‘news’ is something i would have never seen coming — especially in those kinds of circumstances. you know, odd times… odd place… odd. but it did anyway… and i was not there! sh*t.

kelan mauulit un? KELAN?!?! and when it happens again, will i be there?

what is it with people nowadays? everyone searches for the "one".

as far as i remember, i was the only person i know who simply loves to question God about my status in the ministry of relationships/"lablayp".  seems like i was stuck in the wait list for the longest time, ‘coz people all around me are being involved in relationships worthy of cheesy teeny boppers and western fictions.

then i found my new friends in the form of my blockmates. for the first time in history, i felt that i’m not alone with my quandary. yeah! you see, they made me realize that i’m not the only one stuck in the wait list ;p. Seems like we have proven the saying, "misery loves company". haha! (Don’t get me wrong, i looove them dearly). in fact, i was surprised when during one of the many overnights we had in Jam’s house for CRes 165 public presentation preparation, people are so "love life deprived" that you’ll surely hear "gusto ko ng love life!!!" in almost every corner of her house. haha, how’s that?! ;o)

and then i meet people from outside UP who’s also screaming of the same thing. at this point, i found it inevitable to ask, "was absence of love life now being raised into a social issue?". and if the answer is yes, when? how?? why???

p.s. to anyone who’s supposedly in-charge in the aforementioned ministry: bawal mag-leave at mag-slack off sa trabaho. dumadami ang nasa wait list. di na tama un. but if you must work double time once again, pwede bang unahin mo na ko? hehe ;))